...conform

Being a nonconformist will ruin your life, as equally as being a conformist will.

One of my work colleagues labelled me a nonconformist recently. We were discussing the reason I have no appreciation for the muggle oppressing world of Harry Potter.  Apart from jibbering some rubbish about not liking it because I find the wizard’s fans overenthusiastic and annoying, I really had no reason. I just stood there with a stupid look on my face, which incidentally could have been confused with being struck with a befuddlement charm. She was absolutely right though. I liked Harry Potter at the start, before it became really popular. But now I don’t like because I don’t want to be associated with the crowd follows it. I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to blend in with them, I want to stand out. Basically, I want to be admired for being different. What a jerk.

Our mind tells us it’s not worth the risk to go out on the limb and say that you prefer Jeff Buckley to Usher. Every time your friends discuss the latest Will Ferrell movie you’ll be left out of the conversation. Why not just watch it?  Eventually you’ll become used to their sense of humour or their taste in food. It will become accustom to you and you’ll one day realise you love it. Like the way you love your old armchair, or that t-shirt that’s got holes in the armpits. It will have moved from the background to the foreground and you’ll have long since lost your appreciation for an Iris shot. Concessions will be made, and then what? You can talk the talk and walk the walk with almost anyone. Never be excluded from a conversation because you don’t get the reference. Never duck out on dinner for fear of being ridiculed for ordering a vegan option. But wait a minute, you’ve lost who you are. That’s who you were? This is who you are now? Bullshit, that’s you blending in and become what’s less offensive or confusing for society to understand, to fit in.

But why do that?

Because most of the time it’s too hard, or too scary to stand alone.

So let’s not do that, let’s not fall in with the crowd. If you like watching Alfred Hitchcock movies, then watch them. Want to wear a blazer with a singlet, go ahead. You’ll be happy being yourself. But then your mobile phone breaks. You can’t buy an iPhone because everyone else has one. Buy an old and outdated mobile phone, because people expect you to veer from the norm. While doing that, move that old armchair out, but you can’t just buy a run of the mill replacement. Get a milk crate and throw a cushion on top. How cool is that? Nobody else has got that. Be completely different to everyone else, cause that’s the life you’ve chosen. You have to be more and more obscure to impress. So then what happens to you, you’ve got a stupid phone, crappy chairs and an interesting quirkiness that people respond to. Over time though, that novelty will wear off. That will become a standard for you and nobody will be surprised. So you find yourself saying and doing things that you don’t believe in to keep your social standing. But wait a minute, you’ve lost who you are. That’s who you were? This is who you are now? Bullshit, that’s you being obscure for the sake of being obscure. Starving for attention and acceptance, to fit in.

It’s a fine line to tread. If you’re too much like everybody else people find you boring and assume you order a chicken schnitzel for your dinner. If you’re too obscure you’ll be labelled a hipster and crucified for wearing anything other than maroon chinos.

So what’s my point?

My point is a piece of advice you would have heard countless times. From people in your life far more significant than me.

Always be yourself.

Don’t fold to peer pressure or be who people expect just for acceptance. If you want to buy a Penny Farthing and ride it to work, do it. Don’t do it for the attention. If you want to listen to Jason Mraz, do it. Don’t do it to conform.

Old advice, that’s as appropriate as ever.

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